We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she pinky promised me she was 18
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
