the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
