We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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