I wish I could punch you in the face.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
