doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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