This gyro tastes like lonliness
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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