My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
