I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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