Betty ford says i'm here all night
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
