Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
