Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
