was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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