I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
