Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
