so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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