Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize