Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
