i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
