Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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