I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
