she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
