i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
