dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
