I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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