Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
