So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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