never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
