I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think a kid would responsible me up
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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