Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
