I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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