I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
