i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
