wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
