I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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