Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
