He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize