the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
