got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
ttyl tear gas
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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