his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
