i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
