I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
