let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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