Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize