Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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