Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
