I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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