if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
