I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize