I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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