Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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