Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
