As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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