U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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