Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
