if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
