New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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