Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
