I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
