I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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