hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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