I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
