i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
