i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
