She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
