It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize