Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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