dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
