Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
