I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
