Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
